BETS, PLACE YOUR BETS!

As some people know (especially Pat and I), people will bet on sports. Some do it for fun, others for serious monetary gain, and then others do it because the government is corrupt, or something to that extent (long story, don't ask).

This newest post is on betting... on the Super Bowl. Now, it's not just betting on which team will win, or by how many points. This is serious betting, on nothing all that important. But it sounds very entertaining.

If you are interested, you can place bets on how many times "NBC will show Brenda Warner on TV during the Game." First of all, who? I'm guess that it's Kurt's wife. Or mom. Before I assumed it was one of the commentators that are on the field that Madden and Michaels go to when they run out of things to say, and even if it's not, I'm going to keep this rant. I could rant on a whole separate post about the females that have been chosen to fulfill these positions. First of all, I would do a much better job (HINT HINT ESPN/CBS/ABC/FOX etc.) because I actually care about football. Even some of the men reporters they have on the field look like they don't really want to be there. Usually when I see these people, I hope that the ball goes out of play and hits them in the head. It would be far more entertaining than what is being present on screen. I would also do a better job with interviews to ask the questions people watching actually care about, not droning on, praising the QB or MVP. If I had that job and was to ask Eli Manning a couple questions, don't be surprised if they seemed a little brash.

Anyway, getting back to the betting, you could also place a bet on "How many food references will John Madden make during the game." This is just too funny. I have sat through enough Monday Night Footballs to know that Madden doesn't shut up about food. Even when the teams are playing, Madden will explain what he likes to eat, and how it's served in that particular city. According to the blog, the odds are Over/Under: 1½. I would have to say way more than 1 time but then again, maybe he'll be more interested in the game this Sunday. But maybe not.

You can bet on cheerleaders, or how many times Al Michael's and John Madden will say "Big Ben" instead of his full name (which really is a mouthful), or you could throw your money at the question: "Who will the MVP of the Game thank first?" Your choices are:

God: 1/1
Teammates: 2/1
Family: 4/1
Coach: 7/1
Doesn't thank anyone: 3/1

Off the bat, I'm going to say that the last choice won't happen. They have to thank somebody. I don't know how gracious these players are to thank their teammates. My prediction is that the MVP, whoever he may be, will say that his teammates performed very well, but I doubt he's going to thank them. Family is definitely a big one, but my question is, does he have to say "family" or can he say "Mom, Dad, baby bro," etc etc? You might want to check the rules on that before putting money on that one. I definitely think putting money on the coach to be thanked first is a tough one. I think the coach will be thanked, but probably not first. They should have added "Thank himself." Depending on who the MVP was, I wouldn't be surprised about that one winning out. Anyway, if I was going to put money on this question, it would definitely be on "God." It seems as though that can't fail. Although, I remember when the coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers was talking after his team won the AFC Championship; he thanked the fans. It wasn't first, and it wasn't the MVP, but I wouldn't rule that option out.

Jaclyn Kahn